Hard Core

We are in the thick of it. I know what you're saying, "You just started, how can you be in the thick of it?" But we are. I've got one more day of a 6 day in a row work week (where 2 of those days included 10 hour days). We are in the THICK of it. June is going to be hard core. It's pretty much 6 day work weeks for me all month. Once July rolls around I'm going to start a new job. Yes, a third job. It's at a skilled nursing facility (which I've never worked at before, which means new paperwork and learning the system...ugh...more stress) about 35 miles away from home. It's guaranteed hours weekly, and let's just say, they made the offer too good to refuse. We're in the thick of it.

Sam called me while I was at work today and said "I was listening to Dave this afternoon and I just want you to know that you're hard core. Going from 2 days a week to full-time was a huge change and I appreciate you're willingness to do this for our family." I appreciate him loving on me but really, this is totally a team effort. Basically, we never have days off together anymore. We can't. It's a waste of too much money. I know that sounds ridiculous but daycare is expensive so if I can work on a day when there are no daycare expenses I need to do it. Secondly, Sam has taken up a huge amount of household responsibility. Since I'm really not home anymore Sam has picked up the grocery shopping, laundry, diaper washing and most of the cooking responsibilities. As difficult as it is for me to be away from my family (it's not how I'm built...I don't want to be a working mama. I yearn to be home and be a homemaker) it is such an amazing feeling to come home to an amazingly cooked meal, happy children and a satisfied husband who kisses me hello and then says "we had a great day together."

We're functioning in the THICK of it. We can do this. I tell Sam "you're hard core." He says "you know why I'm hard core, because I do this (pointing to the amazing dinner he's come up with) in this piece of shit kitchen." Yes, I quote.

I wanted you to witness the piece of shit kitchen. We've already decided that when we're debt free this will be the first room we'll save for to gut and re-do. Oh the beautiful thoughts. Here is my beginning ideaboard. Any ideas?

n.

8 is less than 9

I've been trying to update the title up there. The one that is more than $90,000. I've been trying, but I can't remember how to update file formats and SaveAs commands to get platforms to talk friendly to each other. I've been trying to post our new title, the one that is just under $90,000 - the one with an 8 leading the long march.

Our shift has been interesting. April was furious and startling - a cycle of dinner times and bed times and cleaning times and very little down times. We have commented to each other, more than once, that we are living exactly the life we never wanted to live - busy, and fractured and, least palatable of all, focused on money. Even as I sent off our extra payment to the loan sharks tonight, it struck me how much I dislike how much we have been thinking and talking and working for money. Nevertheless, this is the cost of our decisions: to live for a while with discomfort and distress. I am thankful for the opportunity to embrace them both.

Kedzie has entered the WHY? phase of his verbal journey. When I am walking out the door to work, or when Nicole is pulling a 3-day weekend stint, he'll often ask "Where go, papa?" To work. "Why?" Because I made some short-sighted decisions and I want to make them right. Our future is too full of possibility to do anything else. "Oh. Bye, papa. La you." I love you, too, Kedzie.

Mama's Day

I never thought a day could be so perfect. It's funny how when you go into something without expectations...perfection.

The day began when my husband personal chef had eggs betty (a play on eggs benedict from this restaurant) with local asparagus from the farmer's market, canadian bacon from our meat CSA, and homemade biscuits from here. Needless to say it started out quite yummy.

Next we spent the morning playing baseball with our son (if that's not Americana...) and laying under the shade of our new trees.

I get this face a LOT.

The whole afternoon was spent with family: Sam's brother and family and his parents. We went to our community park and had a picnic. It was glorious. It's walkable from our house through a little wooded trail and henceforth will keep us from ever living in the city again.

Gammy & the babies.

Classic mama's day photo, blurry and all. I love it.