6.03.2011

Lonely.

I'm not sure how to write this. I don't want to sound pathetic or pitiable. I don't feel that way, I just feel sad and I miss my friends. Seriously, we pretty much don't see people anymore. We hang out with the family weekly but other than that pretty much everyone has been abandoned. Not on purpose. I want all you friends to know, we had no idea that we would be unreachable.

For the past week or two it's consumed me. I'm afraid doing this, this crazy 2 year journey of intensity towards paying off debt, is going to cost us our friendships. I am usually the social director of our marriage. I am too tired, with all my new duties w/ 50-60 hour work weeks to get anything done once I'm home. It makes me sad since what I'd like to be doing is connecting with the people I love. This lack of contact becomes clear when I meet up with friends after a long absence and realize I've missed weeks or months of their lives and them mine. Ugh. I am not built to live in superficial relationships. I thrive on community and intimacy.

This is going to be harder than I thought. Anyone want to do this crazy journey with us? We could use the camaraderie. We make a mean rice and beans.


n.